It's a matter of hormones. She could still be pregnant.
If she doesn't have her period, she has to get tested.
15,000 liras down the drain...
Sorry, I'm stressed out.
You all call Mr. Santoro "foam mouth"
and I can see why.
You call Miss Paternesi "Alien" and she looks just like one.
You haven't given me some nickname now, have you?
- I have to go now. - Tell me, it won't hurt my feelings.
- It won't? - Of course not.
Well... I've heard... Some people say...
- But not me! - Come on!
They say: "The Prick".
Thanks for everything, bye.
"The Prick"... that's gratifying...
- What are you doing? - Why aren't you studying?
That thing you do with books before exams...
Mom's right. You are boring.
Well, at least that's a step up from being a prick.
I'm going to flunk.
I win, I'm going to be a father.
You might be. I'll flunk for sure.
Guys, it's ready.
Massimo, I made pesto sauce, your favorite.
Thanks, ma'am.
Right... as if you deserved it.
Fate was being totally ruthless with us.
There was only one thing that could cheer us up that night.
Cheers, cheers, cover me in kisses...
Cheers, cheers, taste it then tell me...
Cheers, cheers, we'll be good friends...
Man oh man, you guys are lame.
All right, I know. Let's make this night worth it.
- Ever gone 200km/hr? - On a Vespa?
With Daddy's Porsche.
And now, the climax.
- Let's go check out the whores! - All right!
- Can I drive? - Are you crazy?
Just once, what's the big deal?
Come on.
Make one scratch and my dad will break our legs.
Relax, at driving school they called me Niki Lauda.
Whatever...
I always ask and you never let me!
Well, he's going to flunk school, this is his last wish.
Thanks a lot.
Hey Niki Lauda... Go fuck yourself!
You did 1 .5 million liras of damage!
Simona's going to wait a week to go to the gynecologist.
My dad comes back Wednesday, where will I find the money?
If she's pregnant, my life has bit the dust.
We can't do a robbery because we're not credible.
No one would ever loan us any money.
We need a brilliant plan but I've never had one.
I'll never be able to play soccer at 3 a.m. again,
or Interrail around, or get drunk at Oktoberfest
or play a two-day non-stop game of "Dungeons and Dragons".
Or screw your future-wife's sister.
- It was an accident. - Twice!
- You're so anal. - Guys!
Jokes are only funny for a while!
Give me back my trunks, please.
You don't want to upset me!
I'm going to count to three!
One, two...
two and a half... three!
Chicca called me from Berlin last night.
She said they really might knock down the wall.
Who cares? It won't change anything for us.
Plus that was stupid of her to leave like that.
She acts all intellectual but she's really shallow.
Did you see that cute two-piece?
That colored one? I want it.
Sometimes I wish I could be like you.
Thanks!
Alice sure put on two melons, she's developed since last summer.
Forget Alice, check out that other one.
Check out those mushrooms... Let's go foraging!
- What do you say? Ready to study? - After this.
- Can you play goalie? - Move over, Zoff!
I even brought some used "Cliff Notes".
Cliff Notes won't get you very far.
Goal!
Hey... concentrate!
Anyway, when you don't know the answer, "Cliff Notes" rule.
I'd even sell my mother for the essay.
Are you blind or what?
- What did you just say? - I'd do anything.
That's the brilliant idea we needed for the car.
What one thing would we do anything for?
- Kim Basinger. - Screw that. Our essay topics.
- We don't know the topics. - It doesn't have to be the real ones.
- That's fraud! - That's an exaggeration.
No, she's right this time.
You wrecked my dad's car, so keep quiet.
"Move over, Zoff," huh?
Never mind, we'd better go anyway.
You're not leaving, are you? I'm talking to you!
What about his suit?
Bye!
Come on now... Hit it high!
Cesare!
- What a dive! - Cesare.
What is it, babe?
- We're hungry, let's go. - Wait.
Two more points to break the tie.
- Pippo's dinner is tonight. - It's my mom's boyfriend's party.
- The one with the Ferrari? - Unfortunately.
All of us, right now.
We've got the whole world ahead.
We've got so many dreams...
Thank you!
Come and sing with us.
- I've got all the Alan Sorrenti songs. - No, thanks.
Honey... Ottavio and I have thought a lot about your future.
And we've got a surprise for you... You tell her!
- You do the honors. - Okay.
Guess who Ottavio called for you?
The Pope?
- The Dean of LUISS University. - He's a family friend.
So it's just a matter of paperwork to get you into law school!
Then in two years you can come work for me.
You'll get your own office.
- I've got something to tell you. - Go ahead!
I've thought about my future too.
I'm not studying Lit like dad wants, or Law like this guy wants.
- I'll do what I want. - And what's that?
I don't know but don't worry, you'll be the first to know.
So you can tell these assholes who say they're your friends.
Goodbye, have a nice party!
- There's more food, who wants some? - Me!
Here, now pay up.
Who else?
- Me! - You again, Santilli?
- Everyone have some? - Are you happy?
- Could the essays be fake? - What?
Just be glad we invited you.
If you don't trust us, there's the door.
Look Filippo, they're envelopes from the Ministry.
"The Greenhouse Effect and the Hole in the Ozone,
two hazards generated by human wickedness.
Please explain how..." They're really tough!
There's a team of nerds behind these topics!
Tell him.
No, I'm not going for this.
Give me one good reason why we have to break up.
There are more than 100 here.
- What is this? - Read it.
One hundred?
You thought of 100 reasons...
You're not normal at all.
And I shouldn't have to read this, out of male pride!
But out of curiosity, I'll pick one out randomly.
"23: You're conceited." Me? Conceited?
I don't like this way of doing things.
Tell me to my face instead of writing them because...
It's stupid.
"48: You're too hairy."
I can fix that, I'll get waxed!
"56: Uncouth."
Me? Uncouth? Uncouth? When?
You little bitch! You fucking bitch!
Hey Claudia, go fuck yourself!
A good presenter has to be:
A: ctor.
Actor.
B: Alive. But who cares about that...
C: He has to know...
Grandma...
I broke up with Cesare.
Come on, I'll take you to bed.
Grandma.
Grandma!
Dad!
Claudia.
Ludovico.
Who was that guy?
Grandma's boyfriend.
Grandma's boyfriend?
Can't you sleep?
- You haven't played forever. - Feels like longer.
I have to sleep or I'll never study tomorrow.
Wait...
36 hours to exams and I'm no longer afraid.
- Hello? - Luca, put on the radio!
...From the Ministry of Education.
- What's happening? - A lot, unfortunately.
We aren't going to have all the exams ready in time.
- So what will happen? - We have no other option.
We've passed a decree saying
all those admitted to their exams automatically pass.
There is a God!
Yes!
Italo Svevo... Fuck you!
Salvatore Quasimodo... Fuck you too!
Alice!
Luca, look!
It's The Prick. Guys, it's the Prick!
Prick! You've got to die!
You've got to die!
Now everyone to the beach!
- Guys, it's unbelievable! - What do you want?
- It was a joke. - Fuck off, you nerd.
- Shut up, it's not true. - They said it on the news.
The ones who did it got suspended.
It's true.
Your test results show
you have a beta hCG level of 6309.
So...
So?
So you're in your fifth week. Congratulations!
Congratulations...
Now what? What do we do?
You wait 9 months,
or less, and then a baby is born.
- Or... - Or what?
Or you change gynecologists.
We've decided to keep it.
- Both of you, or just her? - We both decided.
She was more for it, but... That's all right.
I'll start working for my dad and screw being an engineer!
So goodbye Massi the Bullshitter
and hello the new Massimiliano in a suit and tie.
How sad...
- Honey! - Honey, my ass!
- Simona! - Screw you, you make me sick!
- You both make me sick! - Who?
My sister, for fuck's sake! What's wrong with you?
"11 June, Massi kept insisting...
- ...I couldn't say no." - It was her!
Fuck you!
Shut up or I'll kill you! First you, then her!
You idiots... No, I'm the idiot because I'm pregnant with your baby!
- Get way! - Simona!
- Fuck off! - Wait, come back!
Looks like Massi the Bullshitter has risen from the dead.
The night before exams is weird.
You have the feeling of failure.
No matter what you study, you can't absorb it.
You're so nervous you can't even breathe.
You grab on to any sign of hope.
Ours was a certain Lorenzo Falaschi.
A serial flunker from the suburbs
who apparently has the essay topics, the real ones.
- Who's Riccardo? - I am.
- Falaschi? - That's what they call me at school.
- Call me Piranha. - Okay, sorry... Piranha.
- Got the 500,000 liras? - Yes.
Here.
- It's all there, we counted it. - I trust you.
But, Piranha...
- The essay topics? - They'll be here, chill out.
- Yes? - It's Massi again.
- Can you get Simona? - Hi, Massi.
She can't talk right now.
You don't get it, you have to...!
Sorry, I just need to talk to her.
I know, but you can't right now.
Tell her I'm staying here...
until she comes out. Will you tell her?
All right...
- He won't leave. - Who gives a shit?
- Simona, I'm sorry. - Fuck off!
He started it!
Drop dead!
The bill, please.
3 years ago, the pizza your brother had
the night before exams was good luck.
- Hopefully it works for you too. - That was middle school!
It was still hard.
- Compared to high school? - Yes, why?
Stop acting up, there's a student of mine.
Hi, Mr. Martinelli.
- Hello, Alice... Mr. and Mrs. Corradi. - Good evening!
This is Alice, she has her exams too tomorrow.
- Hi, I'm Claudia. - Claudia?
You're Claudia?
Yes, why?
No reason.
How can I explain this? Listen up, fool!
Go and genuflect somewhere else!
- I'm not moving. - She's obviously pissed off at you.
I'm sure she's got a good reason.
- How would you know? - I'm a cop, not a pizza man!
You know how many genuflectors I've had to remove? Tell him!
He's not budging...
He's a fool in love. He's taken up residence here.
Should I arrest him?
Shall we go for a drink?
All that talking you're doing probably dried your throat out.
I wish I had a dog as a partner, they talk more.
He's still there.
Guys, the topics are here. Hot off the Ministry press.
Go and call Alice and Massi.
- Hello? - Alice? Guess what...
We've got the topics. Let's meet outside Simona's.
- Massi's already there. - Good.
- See you there. - I'm not coming.
- What's wrong? - Luca...
- I met Claudia. - What? Where?
The question isn't "where", it's "with who".
With who?
- With The Prick. - Claudia with Martinelli?
He's 30 years older than her!
You idiot, she's his daughter!
Hello? Did you hear me?
What do I do now? He'll kill me if he sees me.
Do you really like Claudia?
Yes.
Luca! Where are you going?
You can't leave me here!
Look at this...
"Greenhouse Effect and Hole in the Ozone Layer,
two hazards generated by human wickedness..."
"Wickedness"? These are ours!
These are our topics!
- Mr. Martinelli... - Look what the cat dragged in...
I messed up, as I always do. Please don't kick me out.
I'm tempted, tell me why I shouldn't.
A crazy thing happened.
I told you about that girl...
- And I knew nothing about her. - And?
It's your daughter. I'm in love with Claudia.
I did what you told me to do: I ran over to tell her.
Please, let me in.
Come in, trouble-maker.
Claudia! You've got a visitor.
- Hi. - Hi.
- You're the guy... - I'm Luca.
- Luca! - Well, I'm going.
I can't stop thinking about that night!
You're telling me.
I have something really important to tell you.
- Me too. - You do?
- Yes. - Well, all right then...
You go first.
- I was wondering... - Yes?
That cute friend of yours, the French one at the party.
- Riccardo? - Riccardo.
Can I have his phone number?
The oldest story in the book: he wants her, she wants another.
And the other one is always your best friend.
Didn't work out, did it?
Sooner or later it happens to everyone.
Yes, but when it's you...
You see, Molinari... Luca.
It doesn't matter what you find after your search.
It's what you feel during your search.
And going back to us, study Leopardi.
- Leopardi? - If you get stuck, I'll ask you that.
Thanks.
Goodbye.
So that was that night.
I didn't kiss Claudia and there was no happy ending.
Yet I'll remember it forever because it was a special night.
And I never felt again, as often happens in life,
the magic I felt that night.
PERSONNEL MANAGER GARDALAND AMUSEMENT PARK
SHIATZU MASSEUSE
EURO MP
ECO-TERRORIST
SET 3 BERLIN MCDONALDS ON FIRE
DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE
THREE KIDS, TWO DOGS
A FIAT DUNA
CAUSED A MULTINATIONAL COMPANY TO GO BANKRUPT
ON THE RUN
MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, SINGLE
ATTORNEY, MARRIED RICCARDO
The name of...
...this phenomenon is... tectonic plaques.
It sounds like a bad word but...
No, it's scientific.
Because, actually, these plaques...
shift because they're...
very slippery and...
Molinari, you're getting stuck.
He's nervous.
- Can I ask him a question? - Of course.
Let's try Italian.
I'd like you to talk about a great poet
that we studied very carefully.
His name is...
Giosuč Carducci.
Yes.
Carducci was born near Lucca in 1835
and died in Bologna in 1907, one year after winning a Nobel Prize.
He was a poet and literary critic.
As a republican, he sided with the monarchy
and was named "National Poet".
His work as a critic...
One thing I learned after five years of high school:
never trust a teacher.
So I studied all Italian poets.
All of them... except Leopardi.
LITERATURE TEACHER